Spending Time With People You Love


You might have heard it said that

‘You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.’

This phrase was made famous by Jim Rohn, an American entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker. It made me think about who I have been making time to see and talk to.

Working as a self-employed therapist can be a lonely business, and so it’s important to ensure that I make time for to see family and friends. In my teaching days I worked at a large busy school, surrounded by colleagues who have since become my very good friends. It was easy to form those relationships as there was a sense of camaraderie in that environment, and we made sure that we socialised on the weekends too. It isn’t as easy for us to see each other now, as most of us have different personal circumstances, with children and family life. Even so, we try to get together every so often; but it does take some organising!

Taking Stock of Your Friendships

A few years ago, when I was going through lots of life-changes, I took an inventory of the friendships which had weathered the test of time. I was surprised at what I found out. Some of my oldest friends and I had grown apart – inevitable I suppose, but being sentimental and loyal I was sad at the thought of letting them go. There were a few people who no longer brought me any kind of joy, apart from the wistful memories I had from previous times. It was much easier to let these friends go. I realised that staying friends out of guilt just didn’t feel right. I also thought about which people bring me the most energy, make me feel alive and loved – and I promised to make sure I saw them more often.


With the pace of life as it is now, it’s sometimes a case of texting, emailing, phoning or messaging friends to nurture those ties and relationships. But I am really trying to arrange to see those people who I care about as often as I can. It’s a brilliant way to look after my emotional health. If you’re not sure about this, you can try it out for a few weeks and see whether it makes a difference to how you feel. You can try spending time with:

  • people who bring you joy
  • people who inspire you
  • people who believe in you
  • people who make you feel good about yourself

By no means am I advocating being a ‘good-time friend’. Loyalty and friendship go hand in hand; I am merely suggesting that the people you spend time with can influence your mood, ideas and confidence, both positively and negatively. If you are in a rut with your relationships or friendships, or are feeling that your social life is not as you would like it to be, I can help you. Looking after your emotional health is so important – and if you are not enjoying it as you could, you can contact me to find out how Cognitive Hypnotherapy can make it easier.

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Schedule your free

Are you tired of being taken for granted?

If you've been constantly putting others' needs before your own and you feel like you're the only one who isn't getting enough love, this video is for you. Discover 3 top tips on how to thrive in your relationships and help you to be the best you, you can be.

Check your inbox to confirm your subscription!